There are moments of my life which reminds me of The Joy Luck Club every now and then.

I almost forgot about that little red book. I used to hate it. Oh how I loathe touching the cheena red cover, flipping the pages to memorize silly lines and by silly, I really meant silly. You see, only lines like... the chicken pox quote sticks, An Mei fed Lena chicken flavored porridge when she had chicken pox "because one chicken knew how to fight another." OH GAWD THE NUMBER OF TIMES I WROTE THAT IN MY ESSAYS.

Funny how I can somehow throw them into my exams and make them... make sense. I think I used that quote to substantiate my point about the mothers being superstitious or something. I couldn't memorize the other lines which held deeper meanings. They were too long winded, too wordy, it just... doesn't sink in.

I like Lindo's and Waverly's story the best. I usually have moments like them in the story.

My mom is... (I hate to admit it) amazing. The way she can predict the future, tell me what's gonna happen and see faults that were never there... It creeps me out that she can be so accurate but it's amazing. It's always that line, "See, I told you so." and I'd be like DAYUM WHY DIDN'T I SEE THAT COMING? I SHOULD'VE LISTENED.

"You don't know, you don't know the power you have over me. One word from you, one look, and I'm four years old again, crying myself to sleep, because nothing I do can ever, ever please you." - Waverly Jong

I see so much of myself in Waverly Jong. I like to think that I'm in charge of myself. Yet at the same time, I continue to look for mommy's approval. I guess in the long run, I've unconsciously developed a tendency to use my mom as a scapegoat for my own fears and insecurities. I think mom alone doesn't cut it. This goes for... both my parents. Daddy's approval in many issues matters a lot to me even though I hate to admit it.

On a lighter note, the little stuff my mom can see are perhaps... the boys that I date. She makes me see flaws where I have never saw them before and everything just changes after that...

That influence. It's unimaginable.

Gawd I should stop babbling already.


you know you LOVE me (:
XOXO
♥