Cause when it comes to you
There's nothing I can do
I can't make you love me
When you don't
There's nothing I can do
I can't make you love me
When you don't
I wanted to stay in bed all day long. You know, just hide under the sheets forever, continue dreaming.
So I act cool
On the outside
But it's eating me
Alive
On the outside
But it's eating me
Alive
I can't let go. I really can't and this morning reminded me how much I couldn't.
The same game
Going around & around
But I still end up with nothing
But hurting
Going around & around
But I still end up with nothing
But hurting
How appropriate really, to be reminded of how I can never erase you out of my life completely. Always there, always lingering just outside the borders of my memory.
I'm a hopeless case
On the inside
& it's eating me
Alive
On the inside
& it's eating me
Alive
It's shocking how many kinds of addiction exist. It would be too easy if it were just drugs and booze and cigarettes.
Didn't I agree this's a habit? You're a habit. Liking you is a habit. Thinking of you is a habit. Not getting over you is a habit. It's a gawddamnmotherchucker habit which I have to kick. So gawddamnit get rid of it Fion!
I can think of a million reasons why I should kill the habit but I don't need one to just... leave it. Okay, so I don't wanna kick it. OH EFF IT I DON'T KNOW.
I think the hardest part of kicking a habit is wanting to kick it.
I mean, we get addicted for a reason, right?
At some point, this crossed the line to obsessive, compulsive, out of control.
Still, they say you don’t kick the habit until you hit rock bottom, but how do you know when you’re there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes letting it go hurts even worse.
Letting this go in exchange for... I don't know... Emptiness? Maybe. Perhaps.
I cannot move forward like this. I'm stuck here. I'm gonna be stuck in this gawddamnit hole forever. No matter how much progress I think I've made, at the end of the day, it's back to square one.
My misery stems from desire. Desire which leaves us heartbroken, which wears us out. Desire can wreck your life.
Too often, the thing I want most is the one thing I can't have. It's the game that I cannot win. You're the game I cannot win. You're that stupid game of Solitaire.
Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere and though the cut's long gone, the pain still lingers.
Okay, I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. All these fractured fairy tale ideas won't make sense to anyone.
I think I watch too much teebee. ):
I don't know anything anymore. I don't know. I don't know.
I just miss you. A lot.
I have been missing you for like 3 motherchucker years? Sheesh kebaba.
I'm one hopeless nut.
you know you LOVE me (:
XOXO
♥