It's an urban myth that suicide rates spike at the holidays. Turns out they actually go down.

Experts think it's because people are less inclined to off themselves when surrounded by family.

Ironically, that same family togetherness is thought to be the reason that depression rates actually do spike at the holidays.

There's an old proverb that says you can't choose your family. You take what the fates hand you and like them or not, love them or not, understand them or not, you cope.

Then there's the school of thought that says the family you're born into is simply...

a starting point.

They feed you, and clothe you, and take care of you until you're ready to go out into the world and find your tribe...

I HAVE THE... CUTEST MOM.

Woman's the ultimate joke. Really.

Mommy: "So that means I'll have to find *censored*. I'll cut him out from the newspaper and bring that brochure go find him. If he's the only one that can get my daughter to study, I'll find him bu guan tian ya hai jiao. I'll get him to talk to you since you said he's the one who got you through O levels. I'll say do you know my daughter has been admiring you all these years? Please talk to her, you're the only one that can get through to her. He'll then say oh Fion, I didn't know you've been admiring me all this while! You know you should continue with your studies -"
Fion: "OI YOU DREAM TOO MUCH ALREADY LA!"
Mommy: "So continue on with your A levels."
Fion: "Yeah I will, I'm just gonna fail it."
Mommy: "I'LL FIND HIM."
Fion: "IS THAT A THREAT!"
Mommy: "I'll tell him. Eh my daughter has a crush on you. Many many years already! Then he'll say-"
Fion: "WHAT THE F***."

Yeah, you guys know who's Mr *censored*.

Sheesh, my tummy's hurting real bad and I don't know why. There's this sharp acute pain on the left side. It's like being stabbed by a thousand knives, some invisible force attempting to gouge out my intestines/stomach. OWWWWWWWWWWW, I'M IN PAIN AND I DON'T KNOW WHY! D:

haiyuan. says (12:06 AM):
COME TO MY BOTTLE WHEN UR SAD AND OXIDISED

YOU ARE DAMN SMART!

I need a special bottle. The big bottle isn't enough. No freedom. The many many small bottles... doesn't contain the love I want. I can't go to these bottles when I'm oxidized. I need... another bottle. A special bottle.

YOU GUYS MUST THINK I'M MAD AND LOST MY SCREWS. NEVER MIND, VODDY YOU GET IT RIGHT? The whole bottle-oxidized alcohol theory! Genius! :D

HAHAH AND WTF I JUST RECEIVED A CALL FROM CC WHO'S SHIT ASS DRUNK. ROFL.

Fion: "WTF! JUST VOMIT IT OUT! GET THE ALCOHOL OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM!"
CC: "I don't want to vomit! -INSERTS CRAZED LAUGHTER- It's a sign of weakness! -INSERTS CRAZED LAUGHTER- I don't want to vomit! -INSERTS CRAZED LAUGHTER- OMG I need to support myself! I cannot control my body! -INSERTS CRAZED LAUGHTER- I DON'T WANT TO VOMIT! -INSERTS CRAZED LAUGHTER-"
Fion: " JUST VOMIT!"
CC: "NO I CANNOT! -INSERTS CRAZED LAUGHTER- IT'S A SIGN OF WEAKNESS! NO! I DON'T WANT TO VOMIT! -INSERTS CRAZED LAUGHTER- IF I SEE XXX NOW, I WILL F*** HER! I CANNOT GET HER OUT OF MY MIND! -INSERTS CRAZED LAUGHTER-"
Fion: "WTF HAHAHAH YOU DO KNOW YOU'RE GONNA CALL ME TOMORROW AND REGRET THIS!"
CC: "HAHAHA! I KNOW! -INSERTS CRAZED LAUGHTER- I CANNOT VOMIT! I CANNOT STAND PROPERLY! -INSERTS CRAZED LAUGHTER- I AM DRUNK! -INSERTS CRAZED LAUGHTER- NO I AM STRONG! I CANNOT VOMIT!"
Fion: "HAHAHAHA! JOKE!"

The real convo was punctuated with C***B** and F*** okay! Like literally after every sentence! He was spewing a list of profanities like there's no tomorrow! If I had to include the vulgarities, the convo will be something like...

CC: "I don't want to vomit! $^#%$%^ It's a sign of weakness!^$@$%$%$% I don't want to vomit! $^#^$@$^@$ OMG $@^%@#^%@$ I need to $@^@$^%@$ support myself! #$%@^%#&%#& I cannot control my body! @#%@$^@$%@# I DON'T WANT TO VOMIT! @%!#^%@$^@$%^@$@$"

TSK TSK TSK.

CC: "I AM STRONG! I CAN TAHAN! I'M GONNA GO PLAY OVERNIGHT LAN LATER!"
Fion: "OKAY I SEE HOW YOU SURVIVE."
CC: "I CAN OKAY! I AM STRONG! I WILL CALL YOU LATER AND SHOW YOU!"

Come, see who stronger, race you next time! HAHA JOKEEEE LA CHEN CHAO!

I wonder if I sound equally ridiculous when I'm drunk. Well, for one, I know I'll list out a list of celebrities I want to f*** andddd I'll punctuate my sentences with "I AM NOT DRUNK."

Whatever nonsense follows after is usually... let's just stick to "not very nice.".

Pray that I don't drunk dial you after my A levels! :D
you know you LOVE me (:
XOXO
♥